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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. A kid’s crying, and I turn to see a dog running wild. It’s chasing a pigeon like it’s the last meal on Earth. I’m cracking up, but then I see the kid’s face. Poor thing! I rush over, scoop up the kid, and hand him a strawberry. Instant smile! I’m a hero for like, two seconds.

Fig. 1. Ventral view of triungulin larva of Macrosiagon sp. on Nitela...